


Intrepid Explorers, We

by CSIGurlie07



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: BICORP - Freeform, F/M, and supergirl, but not much mention of it in this one, minor appearance by Kara Danvers, not supercorp exclusionary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSIGurlie07/pseuds/CSIGurlie07
Summary: Jack and Lena's relationship through a series of snapshots. Starts pre-canon, shifts into canon events.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is stage #1 of my attempt to give Jack Spheer some love, because he was lovely and I wish he'd had more of a role. Tumblr user sterling-jay and I have decided the Lena/Jack name should be BiCorp, so that's what we're calling it. BiCorp abounds here, and while it's not Supercorp exclusionary, there's not much mention of it. Sorry!

Jack meets Lena Luthor on a calm cool night. His friend Tad invites him along to a patio party for the upper crust students of MIT, Harvard, and Yale. Though Jack graduated three months ago, he finds compatriots in the thinkers lounging on the lawn furniture and around the wide fire pit at the heart of the patio. Entering his father’s world after graduating has been Jack’s crash course in financial ambition, but here, insulated by a dark night and like minds, there’s a purity of thought, of intention, that soothes Jack’s soul.

As a lifelong resident of Metropolis, Jack knows the Luthors as well as any socialite--predominantly by reputation. Spheer Pharmaceuticals has the benefit of not being competitors to the Luthor empire, so while Jack has heard stories of the bone trails left behind by companies decimated by Luthor Corp, he doesn't share the antagonism of the victims. Lionel Luthor is known to be equal parts shrewd, cunning, and underhanded, friendly only when he gets exactly what he wants in the deal. Jack knows that Lillian Luthor is an innovative medical doctor-- confirmed by every one of Jack's professors-- and he knows that her son Lex is light years beyond her. He is charming and genius, and by all accounts his adopted sister Lena is equally prodigal.

But where rumors put Lex’s charm in his ability to hold an entire room in thrall, Lena seems to content to sit back and listen. She has plenty to say-- her friends lob incisive questions at her throughout the night, which she answers with deft insight. Somehow Jack seems to be the only one hanging on her every word; her peers are apparently accustomed to her acumen.

As the hours pass, bodies shift and disperse across the patio and throughout the house. Minds and words soften with alcohol and deepening night. Wary of leering, Jack lets Tad drag him into a circuit of the patio to meet the people he missed the first time around, before finally looping back around to the fire pit, hoping Lena would still be among the sleepy faces. She isn’t. Jack finds her instead sitting alone on the low stone wall lining the patio, long hair spilling down her back as she studies the skies.

Jack glances upward himself, curious as to what she might have found, but flat cloud cover has obscured even the moon. He edges nearer, and realizes she isn’t looking at the sky at all. Instead her gaze is turned inward, and Jack feels like a voyeur for even approaching.

She senses his presence before he can decide whether to speak or turn back towards the group. Green eyes open, and there’s a sharpness to her gaze, an innate curiosity that takes Jack's breath away. He can’t fathom what she thinks when she sees him. He clears his throat. “Mind if I join you?”

A placid smile curls under an arch eyebrow lifting in invitation. “Be my guest. There’s plenty of stone for both of us.”

Jack sits, carefully swinging heavy legs over the wall. He drank too much trying to pretend he wasn’t looking at her all night, and he’s just buzzed enough to worry that he might accidentally tip off the ledge. He leaves a good foot between them: close enough for conversation, but not so close as to feel forward.

When he finally gathers the nerve to look at her again, Lena is still studying him. Jack offers his brightest smile as he reaches over to extend his hand. “Jack Spheer.

“Lena,” she replies, grasping his hand firmly. “You’re Tad’s Jack right?”

“In the sense that he is my driver for the evening, yes,” Jack confirms with a grin. “Despite my best efforts, I remain stubbornly unattached. His invitation tonight was a rather turbulent affair for my tender heart.” He eyes the glass in his hand, where a sip of scotch still lingers. “I’m surprised, though. Knowing Tad, I expected more Solo cups.”

This time, Lena’s smile is less placid. It’s wider, and this time something lights in her eyes. He lifts an eyebrow. “Did you arrive with anyone tonight, Lena?”

Her eyebrows shrug. “Not exact--”

“Why, Lena!” A voice interrupts her, and Lena’s features shutter instantly. Jack cranes his neck to see a tall woman with long legs striding across the patio towards them. No, not striding… Jack has never before seen someone _slink_ before, outside of his spy novels, but this woman treats him to the very definition. Her narrow eyes glint with barely concealed venom as she smirks at Lena. “I didn’t think we’d see you tonight.”

“Oh, you know me, _Blackjack_ ,” Lena replies, just as airily, “I go where the wind takes me. Had I known you’d be here, I’d have drifted somewhere else.”

Jack’s gaze bounces back to the newcomer, whose eyes sharpen to slits. “Then I'll be sure to let you know next time. As lovely as it is to see you, you have the rare gift of sucking the life out of every party you walk into.”

Hiding a grin behind his glass, Jack watches with enthusiasm. As glad as he’d be to point out that this woman had clearly been attending a different party than the rest of them-- her evening gown looks more at home in a casino than on a patio-- Lena doesn’t need his assistance.

“That’s so kind of you to say.” Lena draws one knee to her chest. “So, _Baccarat_ , did you get your own invitation tonight, or copy someone else’s?”

Jack hadn’t thought it possible for the woman’s face to sour any further, but it does. She doesn’t deign to respond. Instead, she swivels her gaze to Jack. “If you’re interested in having some real fun tonight, let me know. We’ve got another party going inside.”

Her eyes scan him up and down, and Jack can surmise what kind of party she means. “Oh, no, I couldn’t, thank you. Five Card Stud was never one of my strong suits.”

Lena snorts, and the woman drops any pretense of good manners to sneer at him before turning on her heel and stalking away. Jack watches her go, then turns back to Lena. “I get the feeling you two know each other.”

“Oh, Veronica and I go way back,” Lena shares easily enough. “We went to school together-- until she cheated off me on a mid-term. She got kicked out, and these days she calls herself Roulette.”

“How unnecessarily insidious,” Jack teases, earning another broad grin. A quiet moment passes between them. In the distance, a dog bays, small and mournful. Jack purses his lips thoughtfully.

“I can sort of see the appeal, though," he continues, after a long minute. "Giving yourself a new name… Breaking away from the family reputation.” Lena doesn’t respond. When Jack chances another glance he realizes that he’s misstepped. Her features have hardened, and suspicion replaces the easy smile of before. “I’m sorry,” he says quickly, “I don’t mean…”

He waves awkwardly towards her, somehow encompassing everything that is her and the Luthor name and the shadows that surround it-- power, greed, questionable ethics, manipulation. 

“Spheer may not carry the same weight as Luthor, but it does come with certain… expectations.” Pharmaceuticals can be a calling, but it’s not Jack’s calling. He wants more. “I can appreciate wanting to strike out on one’s own. Be the intrepid explorer forging a new path.”

She softens again, but Lena’s smile doesn’t return for a long while. Still, the night is long and Jack has nowhere else to be. They talk until the patio starts to thin out, and still they linger. Tad eventually sidles into Jack’s field of vision, unseen by Lena, pointing at his watch. Jack ignores the signal. It’s only when Lena’s friends come to collect her that their conversation draws to a close. 

“It's been a pleasure, Lena,” he assures her when Lena’s cheeks flush upon realizing how much time has passed. “I hope we see each other again.”

Lena cracks into a lopsided grin, and Jack feels his heart plunge into the abyss; he’s in love. “So do I,” she says.

After she leaves, Tad claps his shoulder with a hoot of solidarity. Jack ignores him, barely able to utter a word the entire trip back to Tad's. It’s only when Jack thinks of calling Lena the next morning that the bitter truth sinks in: He never asked her number.


	2. Chapter 2

Though Jack attends every Metropolis society event in the hopes of running into Lena, it’s almost eight months before Jack next lays eyes on her. He makes his parents proud in the meantime by networking his way into the good graces of dozens of businessmen. Now the familiar faces in their circles recognize Jack in his own right, most conspicuously in the way he has yet to accept a position at Spheer Pharmaceuticals. Over and over they ask what he intends to do now that he’s graduated, and every time he dodges their questions he draws closer to the answer he’s looking for.

His senior thesis project niggles at the back of his brain, as it had since he completed it. Nanotechnology merged with medical science. His thesis is theoretical, existing only in pen and paper, but with the right funding he could take it to practical trials. By now, his presence at functions is less for Spheer Pharmaceuticals and more for this unnamed venture that slowly consumes him.

By this point Jack has spent more time with Lena’s parents than with her-- the night he’d finally worked up the courage to ask Lillian Luthor about her daughter’s whereabouts had easily been the most harrowing of his life. Her gaze had somehow grown colder, when she looked him up and down as though seeing him for the first time. Lillian had deflected his question but Lex-- charming, intimidating Lex-- had taken pity on him and shared that Lena volunteered at Metropolis Memorial Hospital every Wednesday she was in town.

The following Wednesday, Jack had gone to Memorial Hospital to see her. Without a time frame for her volunteer shift, he waited outside for hours in the cold and misting rain. His patience paid off when he finally saw a familiar figure push through the doors and step out onto the street.

Jack stepped towards her then, a greeting on his lips and a flutter in his chest, only to freeze when he saw how stiffly Lena held herself, how suddenly she’d stopped on the pavement. He watched a trembling hand lift to wipe her cheeks, and the sigh she released shuddered her entire body. Her town car pulled up to the curb just as Lena gathered herself. She climbed in and pulled away without glancing around her, never once seeing him.

Jack had left moments later, certain he’d witnessed something he hadn’t been meant to. He never went back.

Tonight though, almost five months after that rainy evening on the street, Lena shows none of the heartbreak of that night. Instead, she looks completely, utterly-- bored. She’s already in conversation with Roland Goodman the Third, though conversation is a strong word for the way Roland drones on, as Lena fidgets politely, adjusting the watch on her wrist and taking frequent sips of her drink.

In an instant, Jack secures a champagne flute and makes a beeline for her. He moves as though to pass her, but collides with her shoulder on his way.

“Oh!” he exclaims, putting out a hand to steady her. “I am so sorry, that is absolutely my fault.”

Green eyes flash at him, then crinkle into a smile of recognition. “Jack!”

Jack grins back, glancing briefly at Roland, who by some miracle has stopped talking. “Lena, how lovely to see you again. I only wish it hadn’t involved me sloshing champagne on your dress.” There isn’t a drop on her. “May I escort you to find some club soda?”

Lena loops her arm through the elbow he offers. “That’s very kind of you,” she responds. She glances briefly to Roland. “Please excuse me, Roland.”

As they quickly disappear into the crowd, Jack leans in close. “Looked like you could use a save,” he murmurs conspiratorially.

“Thank you,” Lena groans back. “I know I should be flattered he read a cliff notes book of physics, but oh... my... god...”

“Ooof,” Jack commiserates. "What's the run time so far?"

She checks her watch. "Twenty three minutes. I would have gotten away sooner but I made the mistake of trying to correct him. Worst decision _ever_."

"Let me guess,” Jack clears his throat, shifting into his best impression of the Goodman heir. “ _I’m sure you think so, but I assure you, the sun does in fact revolve around the Earth.”_

Lena bursts into laughter, bright and full of mirth. Jack breaks character to chuckle with her.

“Oh my god, that’s brilliant! You certainly have him pegged,” she laughs again.

Jack gives a nonchalant shrug, though his cheeks heat under the shine of her smile. “Come to enough of these things, and you start noticing patterns. You should hear--”

“Lena!” Lillian Luthor strides towards them, crowd parting around her like the Red Sea.

Lena’s mirth evaporates in an instant. “Yes, mother.”

“General Crane has just arrived, and is already asking after you. Come say hello.”

The smile that curls Lena’s lips bears little resemblance to the grin she wore just moments ago. “Of course. I’ll be there in just a moment.”

Lillian nods, hard eyes scraping across both of them before she retreats. Lena turns to face Jack. “I’m sorry, I have to go. It was good to see you again. And thank you again for the save.”

“Any time,” Jack chirps. “My services are always available. However, I do charge extra for Generals.”

Lena flashes another smile, almost a laugh. “Enjoy your evening.”

And then she’s gone, melting into the crowd as though she were never there. He tries to catch her eye again, but after Crane moves on, Lillian pulls Lena from one conversation to another. Eventually, the time comes when Jack looks for her only to realize all of the Luthors have gone, and he still doesn’t have her number.

Two days later, his phone buzzes with a text from an unfamiliar number.

_Got your number from Tad. It’d be a waste to go another eight months without chatting. -L_

Jack’s heart beats so fast his vision pulses, as his fingers fly across the buttons to respond.

_My thoughts exactly. -J_


	3. Chapter 3

Jack lives and breathes for Lena’s text messages. Their friendship grows as the months pass. One text at a time, he learns a lot about Lena-- more than he ever thought possible.

Like how quick she is with a pun. That the only emoticon she uses is the smiley face, and even then only rarely. That Lena’s favorite part of the week is when the professor she TAs for brings their dog to planning meetings. That she’s most active after 6pm, and takes naps during the day whenever her schedule allows for it, though Jack suspects she gets less than four hours of sleep a day.

He likes to think she picks up some things about him too, no matter how light and inconsequential their conversations are. One night when he’s halfway around the world inspecting his father’s labs in Dubai, he’s woken up by a frenetic barrage of texts from Lena.

_Lena: A guest lecturer dropped out of a visiting seminar._

_Lena: Dr. Itsuko Saikawa is to fill in._

Jack blinks the sleep from his eyes. Saikawa is the leading nanoparticle physicist in the world, and Jack’s personal hero. He can’t remember when he’s ever mentioned his awe to Lena, but she likely has made a correct assumption based on his enthusiasm for nanotechnology-- which he has shared, though he has yet to mention his thesis or his goal to bring it into existence.

_Lena: ‘Applications of Nano-Physics in the Modern World’._

_Lena: Her lecture starts in 3 hours._

Lena’s texts continue to come in one after the other. Jack briefly considers whether he can get himself back to Massachusetts in time to see at least part of the seminar. With a groan, he accepts that he can’t, even if he could manage to explain it to his father.

_Lena: I’ve got a voice recorder I use for class. Anything you’d like me to ask?_

Lena’s final text sits on Jack’s phone, the only light in his dark penthouse suite. He smiles at the sight of it, and frantically rifles through his bags to find the recent periodical featuring Saikawa’s latest publication. He finds it and flips on a lamp, flipping through to find the first of the many notes he’s scribbled into the margins.

 _Jack: First of all-- you better record EVERY word._ _Or else I’ll never forgive you._

He can almost feel her scoff on the other end.

_Lena: Duh. What do you take me for?_

Jack laughs to himself, before letting his fingers fly over the number pad of his phone.

_Jack: First, in regards to her recent article in…_

Jack sends her almost a dozen questions, then doubles back to rank them in order of importance, in case she didn't have the chance to ask all of them. Lena remains patient, and two weeks later he drives to Massachusetts and sprints into their favorite coffee shop, where Lena already waits, voice recorder and earphones prepared and ready to go. True to Lena's word, she's recorded the whole seminar, plus the entirety of the Q&A that followed. The first question Lena poses isn't one of his-- though Lena's question is astute and specific to the seminar itself, Jack nudges her teasingly. Lena's eyebrow arches smugly when Saikawa's response segues perfectly into a follow up question, this time his. Lena manages to sneak in two of his questions before Dr. Saikawa moves on.

Another ten minutes later, the recording dies down, filled with the noise of the crowd filtering out of the lecture hall. Jack removes his half of the earbuds and sits back in his seat. Lena stops the recording, leaning back to mimic his posture. She meets his gaze, saying nothing as her lips curl into a smirk.

"That was-- thank you, Lena," Jack tells her. He wants to hug her, kiss her hands in thanks. He settles for placing a hand over his heart. "Truly."

Lena lifts a single dark eyebrow, her smirk growing as she offers back the earbud. "You didn't even get to the best part."

Jack accepts the earbud, his fingertips brushing Lena's and sending an electric shock across his hand. Lena resumes the recording, and Jack tries his best to listen as Lena flagged Dr. Saikawa down in the corridor outside the lecture hall as she left, pushing to ask the questions Jack had given her. Jack tries to pay attention to Dr. Saikawa's answers, but his focus is consumed by the bright smile dazzling him from across the table.  

* * *

As winter fades into spring, Lena’s graduation nears, Jack can sense the shift in the mood of their conversations. She responds to his messages readily enough, but initiates very few of her own. Then, as May draws closer, her responses shorten, and the lighthearted tone Jack’s grown accustomed to reading. He tries not to pry, but one night, when he’s lying in bed with his phone in his hands, Jack watches as one word responses return almost instantaneously to every message he sends. Whatever is bothering her has come to a head, and Jack risks addressing it.

_Jack: Is anything the matter?_

Her response doesn’t come as quickly as they have been so far. Jack waits nervously, fearful that he’s overstepped-- that he’s shattered the unspoken boundary that keeps them friends. Then his phone buzzes.

_Lena: My mother expects me to return home after graduation._

_Jack: Is that what you want?_

Another nauseating wait follows as Lena phrases her response.

_Lena: I don’t know._

_Lena: What did you do?_

Jack still hasn’t discussed the particulars of his venture. Like everyone else, Lena knows he hasn’t committed to his father yet, but she hasn’t asked what he intends to do instead, and he hasn’t volunteered the information. He wants to have something more concrete than ifs and possibilities before he discusses it with her. He isn’t quite there yet-- he hasn’t been able to secure the funding yet. But now that she’s asked, he doesn’t disguise his plans for anything less than they are.

_Jack: I went home for a grace period, until I figured out what I wanted to do. Then I started looking for investors._

_Lena: Investors for what?_

_Jack: The marriage of nano- and medical technologies. We have time-release drug delivery systems that can reside in the body, and robotic assists that can perform intricate surgeries._

_Jack: If we can scale it down, we could revolutionize the medical industry._

_Jack: We could treat, cure, and prevent diseases on a molecular level. Reduce the rate of infection, or complications from traumatic surgeries._

Jack waits anxiously. Lena is the one person he can’t baffle with bullshit, and part of him wonders if he’s too ambitious. The chat window stares at him, flat and lifeless, until Jack assumes she’s been pulled away-- or is laughing so hard she can’t type. He almost drops his phone on his face when it starts to ring, Lena’s name visible on the caller ID.

“With that kind of technology,” she says by way of greeting, “you could cure cancer.”

Jack blinks, then grins. “Yes. Yes it could.”

“What’s your email address?”

Jack rattles it off. “Why?”

“I’m sending you my CV,” Lena says forcefully. “I want in.” She sighs. “Jesus Christ, Jack. No wonder you go gaga for Saikawa. Why didn’t you tell me?”

His computer beeps with an incoming email.

“Honestly, it still feels like a pipe dream,” Jack replies as he pushes himself out of bed to open the file she’s sent. “Wasn’t sure what you’d make of something so nebulous.”

He clicks on the email and enlarges the attachment that opens automatically, already certain what his answer will be. His eyes quickly start to dry out as he stares at her list of accomplishments and honors, and Jack realizes that despite his best efforts, even he has underestimated Lena Luthor.

She’s not working on her first degree, or even her second. Lena is nearing the completion of a dual masters, and suddenly, Jack has to wonder whether he misjudged her age as well. It doesn’t seem possible one person could fit so much academia into so few years. He grins into the phone.

“When can you start?”


	4. Chapter 4

From the moment Jack sends her his research, Lena hits the ground running. She takes a red pen to his thesis like she’s his advisor, and zeroes in on their first obstacle like a heat-seeking missile-- funding. She steers him towards the available grants offered by MIT, and applies her efforts to seeking private funding as well. Where the Spheer name isn’t enough to grease certain palms, Luthor is. They have more than their starting goal by the time Jack sets the start-up paperwork in front of her. Her smile when he asks her to be co-owner of  _ Intrepid Ventures, Ltd. _ is blinding.

She never stops moving-- one obstacle pops up, she has a workaround within days. Before he knows it, they’re three years in, and though they’ve been running the marathon, there’s no finish line in sight. Lena doesn’t falter until one day in the middle of Metropolis’ worst heat wave in recorded history. In the middle of a critical simulation, their air conditioning breaks under the strain of trying to cool their labspace. They cobble enough of it back together to get keep the computer towers cool, but it’s too long in the heat to keep Lena’s face from flushing, and not enough air returned to keep her cheeks from blanching alarmingly mere moments after the computers are saved. 

“Lena!” Jack lunges to catch her when she collapses, barely managing to cradle her head before it hits the concrete floor. Lena rouses moments later, but Jack’s heart continues to pound as he situates her in front of a desk fan, and shoves a bottle of water in her hands. 

Jack quickly calls for her driver, even as he argues he should be calling an ambulance-- Lena talks him out of it. Her apartment is closest, so they go there, and during the short ride Lena sips on water, as Jack directs every vent spewing cold air onto her. 

When Lena fumbles her keys, she doesn’t protest that Jack gently takes them from her hand. She leans heavily against the wall, and Jack tries one last time to get her to listen to reason.

“Please, Lena, let me take you to hospital,” he pleads. “You’re not well.” The fact that she doesn’t get irritated at him is a testament to how much energy the heat has zapped from her.

She shakes her head no. “I’ll be fine. I just need to rest and get cool.”

Jack swallows his better judgement and obliges, turning the key in the lock. But he does hover as Lena precedes him into the apartment, and guides her to the sofa. Lena even lets him get her fresh water from the refrigerator before settling down beside her. Jack doesn’t bat an eye when she lies down to rest her head in his lap. What he does notice is that her expression has turned melancholy, her daze giving way to something else. Something as heavy as exhaustion, but much, much deeper.

“What are we doing, Jacky?” she asks softly.

Jack glances at her, but her eyes are fixed on the ceiling, blinking lazily as he runs his fingers over her sweat-damp hair. “We’re trying to do the impossible.”

“Maybe we’re foolish for even trying.” Her voice is even, impossibly low, like it’s coming from deep in her soul. It doesn’t sound like Lena at all.

“That sounds like Lillian talking,” he says. Lena is due for her monthly dinner with her mother-- anticipating the inevitable litany of criticisms about Lena’s choice of endeavors has no doubt worn her down in a way years of struggles and setbacks hasn’t.

“What if she’s right?”

“She isn’t.” Jack doesn’t hesitate. Lillian Luthor is incredibly intelligent, but her focus is limited to what benefits her and hers, and dishonesty isn’t outside her repertoire. She would try to convince Lena the sky was green if it meant bringing her daughter back into the fold.

“But what if--”

“You know what else used to be impossible?” Jack asks, finally bringing her eyes round to meet his. “Crossing the ocean. Aviation. Reaching the South Pole. Organ transplants.” He grins at her. “The only reason our project feels impossible is because no one has done it yet. And what kind of pioneers would we be if we stuck to the things already accomplished?”

Lena’s long fingers rub across her cheeks. She huffs, mirthlessly. “Yeah.”

She rolls over and sits upright, scraping long hair off her neck. “Yeah,” she repeats, with no more feeling than the first time. When she climbs to her feet and pads towards her bathroom and no doubt a cool shower, words burst out of Jack with a mind of their own. 

“Lena.” 

She pauses, turning back to face him. Jack’s chest tightens, suddenly nervous. For all that intrepid exploration has been the foundation of their working relationship, Jack stares over the edge of a personal precipice. He can see every possible outcome to the question on his lips. Fear of failure urges him to keep his mouth shut, to preserve what he already has. But the part of him that hopes for more, hopes for  _ better _ \-- that bold whisper feels sharper than ever. 

“Have dinner with me tonight,” he said finally, his voice tight around the lump in his throat.

Her head tilts, brow furrowing. “Sure?” she responds, as though it had been a given from the start. They’ve shared breakfast, lunch and dinner for years, and Jack knows she doesn’t understand what he’s asking.

“As a date,” he clarifies. 

Jack’s legs twitch to stand, but he remains seated, watching her for any sign of reaction. Her eyes widen slightly, lips parting minutely to draw in air for a response that doesn’t immediately come. He watches the wheels turn, and says nothing more.

Lena creases into a smile as she nods. “I’d love to.”

Then she swings away and disappears down the hall. Jack’s breath doesn’t release until he hears the bathroom door  _ snick _ closed. His hands shake, but the grin that spreads across his face a moment later doesn’t fade for weeks after.


	5. Chapter 5

In one night, Jack learns entire volumes about Lena Luthor: the pattern of her blush as their bodies move together; the glint of her smile just before she climaxes; the sting of her fingernails digging into his skin; the sound of her contented sigh when she settles onto her stomach to sleep.

The first morning Jack wakes in her bed, dark hair tickles his neck. He turns into the strands, inhaling the scent of her. Lena’s bare back glows next to him in the soft light of morning, and for a moment he wonders if this is what heaven feels like. When she stirs, Jack’s world quakes: his life will never be the same again.

Lena stretches languidly, mewling softly as she does. Jack draws a finger along her arm, bringing her head around to face him. She blinks sleepily, eyes warming as a slow smile curls her lips.

“Morning,” she says softly. Her voice is velvet, and Jack warms at the sound of it.

“Good morning,” he returns, mirroring her grin. He licks his lips as Lena continues to gaze at him. “So, last night...”

Dark eyebrows lift, and her eyes sparkle with mirth. “Last night...” she repeats, letting him find his own way out.

“Last night was… good,” he finishes, watching her reaction. “Right?”

Lena’s grin deepens, finally taking pity on him. “I had a good time,” she confirms.

“Several good times,” Jack points out, with not a small note of pride.

Lena’s grin broadens into a salacious smile. “Mhmm,” she purrs. She worms closer, walking her fingers across his bare chest. “I suppose you’ll be wanting a thank you?”

“Oh, gratuity was included,” he assures her, earning a giggle. “But of course any extra appreciation is always welcome--”

Lena silences him with a kiss even as she continues to giggle against his lips. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her closer.

“Thank you,” she says when they part for air. She strokes his cheek, long fingers catching on the stubble growing along his jaw. Jack meets Lena’s gaze. Her smile puts the sun to shame. “This might be our best idea yet.”

* * *

Life has never been hard for Jack, but suddenly, it’s perfect. Instead of feeling strained by the change in their relationship, their friendship deepens. In a matter of weeks, even after the paparazzi starts hounding them for photos and sound bites, Jack knows he is completely sunk. He is in this until the very end, however long it lasts. He assumes Lena feels differently. She’s receptive enough to his affections, but rarely initiates anything herself. Jack doesn’t even really notice until she kisses him for the first time. They're in the labs, and Lena's lips press against the side of his jaw, startling Jack so badly he hits his head on the microscope he's using.

They both laugh it off, but after that, Jack notices how he’s the one to take her hand, the one to cuddle closer on the sofa watching the news. Lena reciprocates readily every time, but rarely initiates anything herself. Jack doesn't mind, and he doesn't call attention to it. Even if part of him wonders if Lena isn't falling as quickly as he is, even if she doesn't know how deep Jack is, he loves what they have. He loves her.

The night of his birthday, Jack enters his apartment to find a small table lit by candles, and Lena barefoot in a black dress that leaves his mouth dry. The room smells of flowers and food, the latter homemade and delicious. Jack has had plenty of fancy meals in five-star restaurants, but this is his favorite, when it ends with both of them elbow deep in suds, cleaning the dishes side by side between kisses and sips of red wine. As they finish putting the last dishes on the rack to dry, Lena’s phone starts to ring repeatedly, until Lena turns it off entirely. There’s only one person who would call so insistently, and one person only who makes Lena’s fingers shake the way they do when she sets her silenced phone aside.

In that moment Jack's doubts dissolve. Lena blew off dinner with Lillian to spend the night with him, and though he's the one to pull her close as the candles burn down, Lena's answering kiss is deep and in it she returns his passion ounce for ounce. That night, and many after, Jack and Lena revel in each other’s company. Their relationship is light and happy and easy. For a year, it feels like nothing can touch them.

And then Lex happens.


	6. Chapter 6

When the fateful battle starts, the rumble of a distant explosion shudders Jack's penthouse. He and Lena quickly make their way downstairs-- skyscrapers are most prone to damage when Superman goes to battle. He and Lena join the group gathered around the television in the lobby, watching the news as the fight unfolds.

The Daily Planet dubs this unknown threat the War Suit. No one knows who or what is piloting the robotic armor, or why they've chosen to pick a fight with Superman, of all people. All they know is that it's giving Superman a run for his money. The War Suit pummels the Super through buildings, and furrows the pavement with him.

The fight is protracted and long, and Jack almost wonders if they'll witness the death of a Super before the battle shifts in Superman's favor. The War Suit withstands more of Superman's attacks than Jack thought possible, but eventually the armor starts to spark and smoke. Finally, it takes off and disappears from the camera's view. Superman seems ready to go after it, but instead chooses to start pulling people out of a crumbling building. 

"Memorial is going to be busy tomorrow," Lena predicts as they make their way upstairs. Jack agrees, knowing she intends to volunteer her services, as she often does during the worst crises. She never gets the chance.

Less than twelve hours after Superman’s opponent escapes alive, they’re woken by the insistent ring of Lena’s cell phone. Lena answers before she’s fully awake.

“Hello?” she mutters, voice rough with sleep. “Mother, it’s not even 3am, what--” Lena goes rigid. “What?”

Jack pushes himself upright at the sudden alarm in her voice. He turns on the light as Lena continues to listen. “What did they-- Have you called the lawyers? What, no, of course not. I didn’t mean-- Yes, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

After the call ends, Lena sits in shocked silence, staring numbly at the phone in her hand. When she doesn’t speak, Jack reaches for her. “Lena, what’s wrong?”

“That was my mother,” she says, dazed. “Lex has just been arrested.”

Jack isn’t surprised at first. He assumes it has something to do with embezzlement or racketeering charges-- it wouldn’t be the first time RICO hooked its claws into Metropolis’ upper crust.

“What for?” he asks.

Now she looks at him, and his blood runs cold at the disconnect in her eyes. “They’re saying he’s the War Suit.”

Jack blinks. It must be a joke-- but Lillian Luthor hasn’t a drop of humor in her, and even if she did her precious Lex would never be the punchline. From the way Lena’s hands start to shake, she knows it isn’t a joke either.

She peels the covers back and begins hunting for clothes. “I have to go.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jack says, climbing out of bed.

“No!” she says quickly, shoving her legs into jeans. “You can’t. You have to stay here. I don’t know how long I’ll be there; you need to keep Intrepid on track.” She pulls a sweatshirt over her head and starts to gather her keys, phone, wallet. “I have to go.”

The door clicks shut behind her without a kiss goodbye, leaving Jack feeling like the rug’s been pulled out from under him. His texts and calls go unanswered for the two weeks she spends at the Luthor manor. Then one night he comes home from the lab to find Lena lying in bed with her hood pulled snug over her head and shoulders tight with tension. Her breath hitches when he crawls up onto the bed behind her, and she doesn’t protest when he spoons against her, wrapping his arm around her waist as he presses a kiss against her sweatered shoulder.

* * *

The camera flashes blinding them when they step outside now belong to major media news outlets, not trashy tabloid paparazzi. Their sights are set on Lena, not a high profile courtship. Within days, the press are joined by a small mob of angry private citizens-- one throws a rock that cracks the window of their town car.

Luthor Corp hires additional security in response. Jack is grateful for the burly men in dark suits who intimidate the crowds into standing at a safer distance, but it soon becomes clear that their lives are no longer their own. Every movement outside is shadowed by the security team, and tracked by the press. Their only source of quiet is in either of their apartments, where the silence is deafening. They no longer watch the news. Lena doesn't read the paper-- not even for the crosswords. They barely speak.

Lena doesn’t discuss the trial preparations, or her brother, or her mother, who has become interim CEO of Luthor Corp in Lex’s absence. Jack knows she worries for her father-- that Lex’s arrest and impending trial will further jeopardize Lionel’s already deteriorating health-- but she doesn’t say a word about any of it. Jack can’t tell if she’s in denial, or if she’s trying to protect her family’s secrets.

Lena uses Intrepid as a distraction until the trial starts. When the proceedings begin, the dark cloud hanging over her becomes impenetrable even to Jack. The circles under her eyes deepen, and the plates of food he leaves at her elbow go untouched. She pulls further and further away, and Jack is helpless to do anything but watch.

* * *

Lena’s fears are realized on a rainy morning in mid-April. They wake to another call from Lillian-- Lionel has passed away in the night. After, Lena sits on the edge of the bed as she had when first notified of Lex’s arrest, but this time her reaction isn’t shock or disbelief. Exhaustion enshrouds her, slumping her shoulders and bowing her head as her phone slides from her fingers. Jack offers comfort she doesn’t accept-- she pulls away, and heads for the shower on quiet feet.

When they arrive at the funeral days later, Lena grips his hand tightly at the sparse turnout. The sight turns Jack's stomach. Lionel's reputation may be marked by hostile takeovers and shrewd business decisions, but he was widely respected across their community. There are more flowers present than people-- arrangements sent with condolences and apologies for being unable to attend the service. Lex's stain on the Luthor legacy has kept even the Luthors' closest friends away. Jack steals a glance at her, and blinks at the unexpected rage burning in her eyes. Still, she doesn’t say a word.

Lena remains dry-eyed throughout the service, and by the time the pastor begins the final eulogy, her rage has disappeared again, leaving her unfocused and listless. Lillian speaks with her briefly after Lionel’s coffin is lowered into the ground. Jack watches from a discreet distance, noting the hard expression on Lillian’s features, and the sharp gestures her long fingers make in the air between them. Lena doesn’t respond to any of it. Finally, Lillian grabs Lena’s elbow in a vice-like grip, tight enough to bruise. Lena looks her mother in the eye at last, uttering something indiscernible to Jack’s ears before tearing her arm away and turning her back on Lillian.

Within weeks of the funeral, Luthor Corp taps Lena to replace Lillian as interim CEO until Lex is acquitted. To Jack’s horror, Lena accepts. She sells her interest in Intrepid Ventures and hands Jack a list of qualified candidates to replace her. As though any of them could _ever_ replace Lena. He can only watch as Lena jumps into her new role with both feet. The transition quickly consumes every waking moment.

Lena misses dinner and forgets dates. Their nights are spent in exhausted slumber, and Lena rises before the dawn, scrolling through the emails and memos she’s missed overnight. More than once Jack wakes to an empty bed, only to find Lena pacing his living room, deep in conversation with overseas investors. When he makes the mistake of mentioning it, Lena flushes and apologizes. Shortly thereafter, Lena takes to sleeping at her own apartment, to avoid disturbing him.

* * *

Jack unlocks the door to Lena’s apartment expecting Lena to have forgotten their plans-- the latest in a long string of discarded dates that he tries not to take personally. To his surprise, Lena sits at the breakfast bar with her computer open in front of her and tears coursing down her cheeks. Jack’s heart lurches at the sight, and then drops when he sees the surprise in her eyes. She’s home, but not to meet him. She’d forgotten after all.

“Hey,” Jack says carefully, as she roughly dries her face and snaps the computer shut.

Lena pulls in a ragged breath. “Hey.” Her voice is gravel, and she hides her face by tilting her head to start pulling the pins from her hair. “I didn’t realize the time.”

“I’m a little early.” He’s not.

“No, you’re not.” Her hair spills around her shoulders. It used to highlight her youth, but now against skin so pale and eyes so tired, Lena simply looks small under the long strands. She cradles the pins in her hands, before clenching her fingers tight around them.

Jack closes the door behind him, and crosses to take the seat next to her. They sit in tense silence for several long moments. Jack doesn’t know what to say, and Lena simply stares at her lap, lips trembling behind hair that hangs long around her face.

Finally, Lena stands, dumping the hairpins on the counter and turning to leave. Jack rises with her, catching her wrist as she passes. She freezes, but doesn’t pull away. She shakes with barely contained emotion.

“Lena…”

The dam breaks, and Lena turns into him, wrapping her arms around him. Her forehead presses against his sternum as he embraces her. He holds her until she pulls back, sniffling the last of her breakdown away. She skips dinner that night, but lets him draw her a warm bath, and agrees to leave work for the morning. When they go to bed that night, Lena curls against him, finally seeking the contact he’s wanted so long to give. But she doesn’t sleep, not even when the lights turn off and they lay in darkness. Jack is almost dozing when she finally speaks.

“If you had to choose between saving Intrepid, or protecting your family…” Her voice ghosts over his senses, rousing him to full wakefulness. “What would you do?”

Jack swallows. He’s assumed her recent distance was because of the massive responsibilities she now bears as CEO. Now he wonders if she’s gotten caught up in something dangerous. Luthor Corp is no bed of roses, but how much of its sordid history is news to her? Has she been trying to protect him from some hidden truth about her family? For long minutes, he can only breathe through the panic that grips him.

“I suppose,” he starts, voice cracking on the words, “I’d have to decide which choice would let me live with myself after.”

Lena doesn’t respond. She only breathes, her grip tightening on his hands.

The courtroom shutters its doors a week later, closing proceedings to only the attorneys, the judge and the jury as an unnamed witness takes the stand. When the trial become public again two days later, it’s revealed that a Luthor Corp employee surrendered evidence of schematics and detailed notes for Lex’s War Suit found on a corporate computer in a hidden sector of the company network. Whatever questions were asked behind closed doors, it serves as incontrovertible proof that Lex Luthor developed and fabricated the suit.

The defense frantically argues that there’s no proof Lex piloted the suit, but it’s an inconsequential detail against the other evidence stacked against him. While the world speculates who the whistle blower might be, Jack phones Lena repeatedly, but she doesn’t answer. He doesn’t see her again for almost three weeks, and when he does, it’s a brief lunch meeting that doesn’t allow any privacy to discuss the trial or Lena’s role in it. Her face is a solemn mask, and she takes every opportunity to answer calls, texts, and emails throughout the meal, anything to keep their conversation from deepening.

When she cuts the meal short by leaving early for a meeting, it feels like she was never there at all.


	7. Chapter 7

Lex’s conviction surprises no one. Lena tells Jack not to come, and sits stone faced beside her mother as the verdict is delivered. Jack watches her on the news from the small office of their lab-- no, _his_ lab, now-- as she denounces Lex’s actions, divorces them from Luthor Corp’s party line. Her speech is carefully crafted, and sounds nothing like her. When she finishes, her face is a mask-- calm, cool, and collected.

In the flurry of _‘Miss Luthor!_ ’s that follows her statement, one voice lifts above the others. “Lena!”

Lena’s gaze zeroes in on the voice, which belongs to a woman Jack now recognizes as Lois Lane. Lane takes Lena’s pause as an invitation, and forges ahead before another reporter can horn their way in.

“Lena, what do you intend to do next?”

It’s the first question in weeks that has nothing to do with Lex or LuthorCorp or Superman, and something familiar sparks in Lena’s eyes for the first time in months. She swallows once, lifts her chin, and looks Lois Lane in the eye.

“I’m going to do better.”

Lawyers and security sweep her away moments later, leaving a flurry of questions in her wake. Tabloids spend the next week speculating that Lena is poised to follow in her brother's footsteps, but Lois Lane sees the same earnestness in Lena’s eyes that Jack does. While The Daily Planet headlines Lex’s guilty verdict, Lane’s splash on page two holds the important truth:

**_Lena Luthor vows to make good in aftermath of brother's conviction_ **

Less than twenty-four hours later, Luthor Corp announces Lena’s appointment as permanent CEO.

* * *

“Don’t do this, Lena.”

For the first time in Jack's memory, Lena stands in his lab and isn’t working. She isn’t moving. She’s barely breathing. She gazes at him with mournful green eyes, her glance falling away at his response. By this point they’re together only by some vague sense of a connection neither of them has acted on in months, and up until this moment Jack has clung to the hope that once the trial finished, they would find some new normal. The news that Lena is moving with Luthor Corp to National City dashes that hope to pieces.

“I have to,” she says softly.

“No, you don’t!” Jack shouts, slamming his hand against the workstation. Lena jumps at his outburst, and he instantly regrets it.

The effects of her brother’s conviction-- and her unspoken role in ensuring its outcome-- are written in every inch of her. Her tailored suit no longer fits, bunching and creasing where she’s lost weight. She’s pale, almost gray in the fluorescent lights overhead, and the sparkle in her eyes has long been sucked away. The weight of the world seems to press her into the ground, with only the steel of her spine to keep her upright.

“Lena, please, you _never_ wanted to work for Luthor Corp. You never wanted this. It’s why you joined Intrepid in the first place, isn’t it?” Jack holds her gaze, folding his arms across his chest.

“It’s not that simple, Jacky,” Lena says, voice low. “You know it’s not.”

“It can be. You can make it that simple.”

“My brother is in prison.”

It’s the first time she’s said the words aloud, at least to him. Lex's sentencing is scheduled for the following week, but there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that Lex is looking at anything but a lifetime behind bars.

“If I can’t raise Luthor Corp’s stock by the end of the year, I don’t see how it can recover,” Lena continues. Her calm doesn’t extend to her voice, which trembles despite the solemn calm that’s settled over her features. “If it falls, all people will remember about the Luthor name is Lex’s crimes. I won’t let him be my family’s legacy.”

Jack closes the distance between them, taking her hands in his. “Lena... Lena, please you can do that here,” he pleads. “You don’t have to go.”

Lena shakes her head. “No one in this city will do business with us. The hate for Lex has spread to Luthor Corp. We can rebrand, but not here.”

She squeezes his hands, meeting his gaze for the first time in what feels like years. “Maxwell Lord is moving his operations to Central City. National City has seen the most technological growth in the country over the past five years, and with Lord gone there’s a vacuum. It’s the perfect place for Luthor Corp to start over.”

Jack drops her hands abruptly, turning and stalking away in agitation. The lab is empty of people, but full of memories. Jack stares at the workstation that was once Lena’s, where they celebrated her 21st birthday with a cupcake and a beer, laughing at the ceremony when she’d been sipping on champagne and wine at events for years. They spent their first anniversary on the shabby sofa in the lab’s small break area; it’s the last milestone Jack remembers that wasn’t overshadowed by Lex. And there-- the microscope he’d smacked his head on when he felt Lena’s lips against his jaw, the first time she kissed him.

“And what about us?” Jack asks, turning to face her again. He stares at Lena, taking in the lines of her suit and the steely glint in her eyes. Her hair is shorter, and Jack can’t remember when she cut it. She looks like a businesswoman-- she looks like Lionel.

For all that she doesn’t share blood with the father she lost, Jack sees the old man in the set of her shoulders, and the clench of her jaw. Jack barely recognizes her at all, and for the first time in his life, he’s scared for her. The Lena he knows never wanted this. This was never meant to be her destiny. She always wanted more-- to leave her mark on the world as Lena, not as a Luthor.

If she leaves Metropolis with Luthor Corp, Jack knows this corporate mask will consume her, until it is all she is. She doesn’t do anything halfway. Lena will commit to the job, the company, and her family until she surrenders every shred of the identity she’s built for herself. But if she stays, maybe-- just maybe-- Jack can help give her something outside the family to hold on to.

But he has nothing to leverage against Luthor Corp. Nothing to entice Lena to stay, except himself, and Jack doesn’t know if that’s enough anymore. If he’s not enough, then he risks losing her entirely. But to keep her from making this mistake, he has to try.

“If you leave we’re done, Lena.”

Lena’s eyes widen ever so slightly. Not with surprise, but _hurt_. The first true emotion he’s seen in weeks, and it’s little more than a flicker before it dies. She smiles, a ghost of a thing devoid of mirth.

“And here I thought you might consider coming with me,” she says, her voice perfectly measured.

Jack lets his eyes close. Their fate is sealed, and so is hers. Lena’s heels click against the concrete floor as she walks up to him. He opens his eyes when she leans in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“Good bye, Jack.”

He stands silent with eyes and throat burning as Lena gathers her purse and lets herself out.


	8. Chapter 8

National City feels different from Metropolis. The buildings are just as tall, but farther apart, and people smile more. The sun is a constant warmth, made pleasant by the breeze off the water. More than anything else, it’s the city where Lena has made her new home. Jack feels her like a siren’s call. She's all he can think about from the moment his plane touches down, through his presentation and his impromptu visit to her Lena’s office. Now, waiting for her outside the agreed upon restaurant, Jack’s entire body hums with anxious energy.

Jack’s heart pounds furiously in his chest. His skin crawls as he paces, regretting his decision to arrive early. He’d hoped to watch her arrive, but he can’t keep still. His thoughts buzz with safe topics to talk about-- his decision to consolidate Intrepid Ventures with his father’s company and become Spheerical Industries, his choice to hold the unveiling here rather than Metropolis, how he’d finally met Dr. Saikawa in person three months ago… anything but their relationship, and how much he’s missed her.

“Jack.” 

The sound of Lena’s voice jolts him like electricity. There she is, breathtaking in a red dress and a tan coat. The buzzing falls away as Jack’s awareness focuses solely on her. If she’s nervous she doesn’t show it, and that much doesn’t surprise him. Lena has always had a good poker face. But her smile seems genuine, if a little guarded.

“Lena,” he breathes. He shakes himself, as though waking from a dream. “Hi.”

Lena’s smile widens, crinkling the corners of her eyes. “Hi.” She shifts, then eyes the door. “Are you ready?”

“Yes! Of course.” Jack offers his arm, and almost shivers when Lena takes it. The restaurant inside is warm and inviting, and when the maitre'd takes Lena’s coat Jack almost swallows his tongue. She looks amazing, more beautiful than he remembered. But when they sit, their chairs remain apart, a reminder that no matter how natural it feels to be with her, he’s not _with_ her. Not in any way that matters. But maybe he can change that. That’s the real reason he chose to launch in National City first.

They sit awkwardly, the silence between them not as comfortable as it used to be. When the wine comes, Jack finally cracks a grin. “You never answered me, by the way.”

Lena’s eyebrows lift in question.

“Are you having fun here?” he asks again.

Lena takes a sip of her wine, giving herself time to phrase a response. “Fun is a luxury when you’re trying to rebuild a company, Jack.”

Jack nodded. “But have you made friends, at least?”

“Of course I have! You met Kara…”

Jack grinned, twisting the stem of his wine glass. “Ah yes, Miss Danvers. She’s very keen.”

“It’s what makes her a good reporter,” Lena states firmly, and Jack knows better than to tease the girl who scrambled to ask the first question of the conference and then fumbled her way through it. Lena likes this reporter, and Jack decides to like her too.

“Still,” he pushes on, “one reporter does not _friends_ make.” Jack watches Lena’s cheeks color. He tilts his head knowingly. “Lena…”

“She’s worth ten of the friends I had in Metropolis.”

Jack thinks of the friends they’d shared and remembers how none of them had showed up to Lionel’s funeral. How Lena had stood alone on the steps of the courthouse, and then slipped away to National City with only him to miss her. This reporter has a very low bar to meet, but from the way Lena’s voice firms at the mention of her, Jack knows something about her is different.

“Is that so,” he says thoughtfully. Lena nods.

“Kara’s the only one who believed me when I ran into trouble with my mother,” she elaborates. With a jolt, Jack remembers that Lillian had been arrested, and faced trial. But he can’t remember how it had played out, or how Lena had gotten involved. An uncomfortable buzz crawls along his skin.

“Without her,” Lena continues, her voice low, “things would have ended very differently.”

The solemn finality of her words hints at narrowly thwarted peril, and Jack wracks his brain to remember what had happened. If her life had been in danger, the newspapers would have covered it, but for the life of him he can’t _remember_ \--

Kara Danvers herself chooses that moment to appear in the flesh, chasing his confusion away and replacing it with bitter resentment at the way Lena lights up at the sight of her friend. Kara and her date settle at their table after a round of awkward introductions. The buzzing against his skin starts in earnest when Kara Danvers asks pointed questions about Biomax. His thoughts scatter as the reporter presses harder-- only Lena’s voice keeps them inside his head. When Lena asks about Biomax, the turmoil stills, just long enough for him to have a vivid burst of memory.

Mere weeks after Lena and LuthorCorp left Metropolis, Biomax had stalled, and neither he nor anyone else on his team knew how to proceed. They’d been dead in the water, and one morning, after a string of all-nighters with no developments, Jack had been ready to cede defeat, pack it in, and pelt full tilt towards National City.

He’d looked out the window at the coming dawn, and watched a swarm of birds shimmering in the pale light, the entire flock undulating in sync as they moved, following some invisible pattern only they knew. In that moment, Jack had known what to do. He would go to National City and mend things with Lena, but first, he would finish Biomax.

But the images in his mind feel... untrue. The memory spoils in his mind, crumbling at the edges. Jack can’t remember what followed; it’s a blur, until he’d gone on stage for the presentation, and saw Lena in the audience. That’s when time coalesces into something recognizable.

Lena brightens over murmurations and linked intelligence and Jack clings to her enthusiasm. It’s enough to keep the buzzing at bay, at least until they return to her office, and the hum suddenly turns sharp, almost electric. It consumes everything, until he opens his eyes the next morning, and can’t remember how he returned to the lab.

Lena’s visit the following night is a relief. He can’t shake the uneasiness of something wrong, but Lena is a source of _right_ \-- the one thing he knows is true. But her eyes are troubled and hurt, and somehow Jack put it there.

Then he blinks again, and suddenly there’s chaos and agony. The familiar buzzing along his skin is a layer of nanites, undulating in spasms with every burst of pain.

When the pain suddenly stops, Jack feels numb, but present.

For the first time in months, he feels grounded, and not just because Lena kneels next to him. He has so much he wants to say; he should have done it at dinner. She needs to know that he wanted to come with her to National City. That he’d delivered his ultimatum hoping it would give her the excuse she needed to stay, that he’d only been thinking of her. God, he’d been so, so wrong.

Jack hopes she knows, even if he doesn’t have the breath to say it. _He’s so sorry._ His heartbeat pounds loud in his ears, even as his vision begins to telescope. He meets Lena's gaze and loses himself in it. The image of her lingers in front of him when the rest of the world melts away. For a final heartbeat, Jack feels like he's seeing her for the first time. He can almost hear the crackle of logs burning in the fire pit... 


	9. Chapter 9

The day of Jack’s funeral dawns bright and clear, as though to mock her. Lena makes the flight out to Metropolis by herself, and times it so that she can travel straight from the airstrip to the cemetery. An eerie calm drapes over her senses, dulling the sounds of the mourners congregating at the Spheer family plot.

In the crowd of black she sees familiar faces from school, even professors of Jack’s that he’d loved, but most of them are there to show support for his parents, who have lost their only child. Lena stays at the back, knowing that the few whispers already sparked by her arrival would consume the entire congregation if she pushes any further to the front. The pastor speaks at the gravesite, and Lena supposes his words offer solace to some, but they hold nothing for her but sound.

Lena stares at the rose in her hand. She’s not the only one holding a flower, not by any means. Almost every mourner present clutches a tightly curled white rose, waiting to pay their final respects. But Lena’s rose is red and full, clipped from the rose bush she tends on her terrace. It’s dark and fully bloomed, the petals only days from turning and falling away, but in this moment it is perfectly formed, open and fragrant and such a deep, blood red that Lena can barely tear her eyes from it.

Lena lingers when the crowd starts to form a line to deposit their flowers on Jack’s coffin, until she’s one of the last. With steady fingers she lays her perfect rose on a bed of white petals, and lets her palm sit against the metallic surface of his coffin, warmed by the sun. She searches for tears, but none come-- only a tight angry lump that rises to her throat. She should have thought of another way. What good was all her Luthor intellect if she couldn’t save the one man who saw her as something more?

When she turns away, Padma Spheer stands in her path. Lena braces herself. Jack’s mother has always been kind to her, but Padma is smart. She’ll likely have put together that Lena was present at his death, and that she could have prevented it. But Padma simply gathers Lena’s hands in her own, and reaches up to cup Lena’s cheek. Her eyes search Lena’s, but what she’s looking for, Lena doesn’t know.

“He never stopped loving you, Lena.”

Whether it’s the tenderness of Padma’s voice, or the kind smile gazing at her, Lena’s breath catches in her lungs. She releases a shuddering breath and leans in to give Padma a gentle hug.

“I’m so sorry.”

Lena’s voice creaks on the first words she’s uttered in more than day. Padma rubs her back, somehow comforting Lena when she should blaming. Lena swallows thickly.

“I’m sorry too,” Padma returns.

When Lena pulls away, more mourners wait behind her to offer their condolences, and Lena quickly excuses herself. She heads straight for her car, then the airport. She’s in Metropolis less than an hour total, and as she flies home the lump in her throat grows larger, then higher in her throat until it strangles her.

In National City gravity presses down on her. She can barely breathe. She rides to L-Corp, but her balcony doesn’t take her high enough. By the time Lena climbs to the roof, the lump in her throat descends to sit in her stomach like a rock. She can breathe, up here, staring out across the city, but she can still feel the weight of the world, tugging her down, crushing against her shoulders, threatening to compress her into nothing.

“Lena?”

The sound of Supergirl’s voice brings Lena back to the surface. She looks over her shoulder, and Supergirl looks as worried as she did the night she warned Lena that Lillian was behind Cadmus.

Supergirl takes another step towards her. “Is everything okay?”

“I couldn’t breathe,” Lena rasps, turning her gaze back towards the horizon. Her voice quakes. “This is the highest I could get.”

Supergirl doesn’t respond, but she doesn’t leave either. Instead Lena senses her relax, and suddenly Lena realizes how she must have seemed, standing up here alone so close to the edge. But Supergirl seems to understand now.

Something inside Lena cracks. _No_ … she cracked hours ago, starting when Padma Spheer took her hands and offered comfort. Now the fissure grows, spreading open inside her, pulled by the weight of her failure that night in Spheerical’s labs, and the weight of words left unsaid, now forever silent.

The city blurs in front of her. Tears fill her vision, catching on her eyelashes. Lena tries not to blink, but her lips pull downwards of their own accord. She shakes her head, dislodging the tears.

“It’s still not enough,” she gasps. Lena struggles to find the calm from the past few days, but it’s nothing but smoke. Her face crumples, and she ducks her head, bowing under the pressure building inside of her.

Supergirl’s boot scuffs against the rooftop as she steps closer. “I can take you higher.”

Lena nods, the bob almost frantic as sobs build in her throat. “Please…”

Supergirl steps up close behind Lena, and wraps one arm around her waist, another across her chest. There she pauses. “Is this okay?”

Lena nods again, no longer trusting her voice but grateful that she doesn’t have to face Supergirl. Her hands reach up to grip the strong arms enveloping her, clutching at the synthetic material of the hero’s sleeves. The world gently drops away from Lena's feet, as Supergirl carries her towards the clouds.


End file.
